Let Them Struggle (Why Overdelivering is Killing Your Clients’ Results)
Ep. 8 On Letting Your Clients Struggle
I know a lot of you pride yourselves on over-delivering.
The extra calls. The bonus Voxers. The “just send it to me and I’ll fix it” energy.
But what if that instinct — the one that feels generous and high-integrity — is actually getting in the way of your clients’ growth?
In this episode, I’m unpacking the uncomfortable shift that has to happen when you move from one-to-one work into scalable programs. The shift from “I get my clients results” to “I build the infrastructure that helps them get themselves results.”
We’re talking about struggle, structure, boundaries, and why rescuing your clients can quietly erode both their capacity and your scalability.
If you’re building programs meant to grow with you — and not depend entirely on you — this one’s important.
Episode Transcript
Unpopular Opinion: Let Your Clients Struggle
Unpopular opinion, but I think our job as a coach, especially when we're stepping into scalable programs, is to let our clients struggle.
Before you're like, oh my God, what are you talking about, Emily, let me explain.
This is a conversation I've been having with multiple clients over the past couple of weeks. These are not beginners. They've done one-to-one work. They've had successful group programs. They've had scalable offers, but in intimate settings.
They're telling me how much they love being hands-on. How much they love helping their clients move toward results.
They say things like, “If they’re struggling, I hop on a quick call.”
“If they don’t turn in their homework, we email them to see what’s going on.”
“We love being so customizable and supportive.”
Then they come to me and say, “Emily, how do I keep that same level of attention and care and customization when I scale?”
The Core Paradigm Shift
Here’s how I always respond.
We have to remember the core difference between one-to-one work and scalable offers.
When you're working one-to-one, especially if you're moving from done-for-you or done-with-you services, your role is often directly tied to getting the client results.
But when you're building scalable offers that are meant to be the engine of your business, the mechanism that takes you to multi-six or seven figures and beyond, you are playing a different role.
Your job is no longer “get client result.”
Your job becomes: empower your clients with the skills, tools, resources, and barrier removal so they can get themselves the results.
That is a very important paradigm shift.
You Are Not Their Babysitter
Of course we want clients to get results. Of course we want to deliver on the promised transformation.
But your job is not to be their babysitter.
It’s not to constantly ask:
“Did you do your homework?”
“Are you stuck?”
“Let me swoop in and fix this.”
Your job is to deeply, fully believe that your people are capable.
We don’t work with people who aren’t skilled, thoughtful, intelligent adults. We love our audience. We love our people.
Our role is not to solve every last problem for them.
It’s to give them the skills to solve problems themselves.
I often use a Montessori parenting example.
Imagine a child learning to fold a blanket.
They fold one corner.
Then another.
It takes forever to get to the third.
Then when they grab the fourth corner, the whole thing comes apart.
As the parent, you want to swoop in and just fold the blanket. You know how. It would be faster.
But if you do, they don’t learn the skill.
The same thing happens in our programs.
Let’s say you’ve invited clients to submit weekly social posts for review. They don’t submit them.
If your first instinct is to chase them down and assume something is wrong, you’re coming in with the energy of:
“I assume there’s a problem.”
“I assume you can’t fix it.”
“I assume it’s my job to save this.”
Instead of asking: what structure do we have in place? How are we resourcing them to get unblocked themselves?
The Real Scaling Issue
This is a core issue I see when clients want to scale.
We care deeply about our people. Many of us are recovering perfectionists. Recovering people pleasers. Some of us have rejection sensitivity.
We don’t want our people to struggle.
I even had a client say, “Emily, I feel kind of like a bitch putting this boundary in place.”
Here’s what I believe:
Structure creates safety.
No one is going to be mad at you. No one is going to stop getting results because you stopped over-delivering with one-to-one touch points inside a program that was meant to be scalable.
Architecture Creates Safety
The solution is not less care. It’s better infrastructure.
This means:
Clear roles. What is your role? What is their role?
Clear expectations. What will and won’t you do?
Clear components. What is the role of the coaching calls? The curriculum? The community?
When you clearly architect every element of your offer to support transformation, you can stand behind it.
Then your hardest job is sticking to the structure.
Not compensating at the first wobble.
When you believe in the architecture of your program, you can say:
“This has been designed to get them results.”
“It has been designed to give them what they need.”
“It is not my job to micromanage.”
The Scaling Reality Check
I know this is easier said than done.
So here’s the invitation.
When you think about your business three, five, ten years from now:
What do you want your life to look like?
Your revenue?
Who are you working with?
How are you working?
Now look at your current offer ecosystem.
Can it be the engine that gets you there?
If you have a hybrid group program with one-to-one touch points and you can comfortably hold five to ten people, but to hit your revenue goals you’d need five cohorts or twenty people per pod, what happens in your body?
Do you feel stretched? Pinched? Overwhelmed?
That’s a signal.
Honest Questions to Ask Yourself
Are you comfortable with the current level of touch points?
Or are you overcompensating because you’re not comfortable letting your people struggle?
Are you overcompensating because you don’t fully trust your curriculum and infrastructure?
Or are you genuinely saying, “Hell yes, I want to be that hands-on. I want to be in their businesses.”
If it’s the latter, then you’re looking at a different business model. A different offer structure. Likely different pricing.
There are always levers to pull.
But it starts with being honest about where you’re taking on more ownership than you need to.
Your Real Job as a Coach
For most of us, we are working with adults.
They are capable.
They can get themselves the results.
Your job is to give them tools.
Resources.
Skills.
Support.
Space.
To remove barriers.
To identify blocks.
To reflect where they’re getting in their own way.
Your job is to support them in getting themselves the results.
Not to carry them across the finish line.
✨ Let’s keep the conversation going
I’d love to hear what stood out for you in this episode - feel free to send me a DM on Instagram @emily.mwalker (it's my fav place to hang out!)
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